


Pictures of You

by shuwashuwishuwa



Series: Bilocation!AU [1]
Category: Johnny's WEST
Genre: Gen, I am so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4282032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuwashuwishuwa/pseuds/shuwashuwishuwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryusei rings in the new year tonight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pictures of You

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at [here](http://writetomyheart.livejournal.com/222461.html) for the [shiritori comm](http://writetomyheart.livejournal.com/).

The closet of secrets and lies that Ryusei keeps coming back to is just about bursting full now, but he can't stop or say anything or even mumble a simple _help_. He remembers the blur between disappointment and uncertainty, phone call after phone call _after phone call_ until his battery had died, repeatedly flashing _Nozomu_ and _Shige_ and voicemails he didn't bother to listen to because it would have been rude to answer your phone while on your first shrine visit of the year with your family, friend or no friend. Besides, things had already been decided, right?

_{It's me}_ , is the first thing he hears when he listens to the latest message, _{Happy New Year. Take care of me for this year, too}_ , festival noises and excitement from the crowd drowning Kamiyama's voice from the other line. He doesn't say it, but Ryusei knows what Kamiyama isn't saying. _Call me._

Thumb hovering over the keypad, Ryusei sighs. He'd send a message, but dead people don't read their inbox mails anymore, much less reply to them. Two years of knowing, and he still can't believe it sometimes, pictures of all these people who he knows, _knew_ , he corrects himself, staring back at him from where they're framed by his bedside table or on the wall above his headboard. The few times he's allowed to be at home _and_ sleep in until at least before lunch he thinks about throwing the photos, burning or shredding them just to rid himself of the knowledge, maybe the second-hand guilt. if he doesn't know, maybe he won't feel bad. Maybe he won't have to worry about himself so much, too.

What would it be like, debuting, Ryusei wonders. Not that he doesn't get a lot of work currently, he's supposed to be thankful, considering. Well.

If he weren't already trying as hard as he can, he wishes he could exert more effort, or could at least be given the same kind of break his sisters are enjoying right now. Karen and Shuuka can't even stay home after the shrine visit, needing to be shuttled off to Tokyo for work right away. It's obvious that Shuuka dislikes the idea more, frown plastered on her face when she hugs Ryusei and promises her mom they'll send a mail when they arrive at the studio.

Ryusei puts a brake to that line of thought. It wouldn't be good if he keeps wallowing, he's seen tragedy stem from that first-hand so many times now. He'd like to not take part in _that_ kind of catastrophe.

"Do you really not want to come," Karen's just done checking her bag for her rail pass and phone. "Don't you have work in a few days anyway?"

Ryusei passes the little bottle of pills to Shuuka. "Be safe," he lets his hand linger on hers, "don't forget to eat before taking your medicine."

"Yes, _dad,_ " Karen's already put her coat on. She stands in the genkan, with her four a.m. face and only her right boot on, the left one still in her hand. "That was one time."

Their mom smiles warmly at them. "Onii-chan probably doesn't appreciate fetching you from the hospital."

"If you're so worried then why don't _you_ drive us to the station?" Shuuka squeezes his hand before letting go. The novelty of looking at his sisters and seeing some sort of himself being reflected still hasn't worn off after twenty years, it's so weird.

Ryusei shakes his head. "Tired. Also, I still have to call some people." He gestures with his phone at his sisters. "New Year greetings, too."

"Two weeks?" Karen fusses with her gloves, bag carefully placed on her shoulder. Ryusei gave her that bag for her sixteenth birthday. "When?"

They got used to doing this all the time, clocking in days or weeks or months when they were all busy with school or work and wouldn't be able to see each other for some time. Sometimes it was just a little difficult, being close to your siblings and being some sort of famous.

"I think I'm gonna hang home for a while. Meet up with friends, sleep like a log, you know," Ryusei walks over to his youngest sister and ruffles her hair a bit. He knows Karen hates that. "When I get to Tokyo you better treat me to dinner."

Karen's lips pull down. "You don't know when? We might be busy if you just ambush visit us."

"I'll call before, I promise," Ryusei puts his hand over her shoulder. Then he turns to Shuuka. "Better hurry, you don't want to be late." Their dad's downstairs; he'll take them to the station.

Shuuka lets go from hugging her mom. "This sucks," she quiets when she's given a look. _Language_. "Sorry we have to leave today. Happy New Year."

***

The sun's almost up when Ryusei falls asleep, frame clutched in his hand. It's from an old USJ trip, Shinpei's face taking up half the frame and Nozomu burnt from being under the sun all day, hanging on to an exhausted but smiling Kamiyama. Ryusei's off to the side, a peace sign with his hand and his mouth open. He must have been shouting at Shinpei.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

His phone plugged in and sitting by his pillow, Ryusei doesn't notice until well into the afternoon when he finally wakes up that his message to Kamiyama ( _Happy New Year, Kami-chan. I think we need to talk._ ) goes unsent.


End file.
